the blurs

Celebrating the blur of life. the unexpected is most times the best part. Relax your expectations. Let life “take” you. Hurts a lot less, when your expectations of others are tainted. It’s less a shocker, if you leave room for error, for risk, for let-down. Some people just don’t hold you as close to their heart,as you thought they did. Some people find it easier to say goodbye. To close the door, to leave. Others will come into your room, others will occupy space, but none will fill some pockets of memories. Like those first friends. The one’s that I call “golden”. Lucky is the man, who has one golden friend. Till the end. cheers to the blurs!. I will never forget you.

last visit

that time i realized that people needed to see this picture .. knowing they would think that i just stepped out of the shower at my friend’s house in mississippi. and thinking . well he is just naked.. and being dramatic… No…………….. it was the moment i knew that it was the last morning I would say goodnight to my friend of 25 years.. for i knew he was dying of a slow brain disease…. so i took this honest shot of the last time in that weekend. of that last time with my friend.. life moves fast friends… please. tell your best friends that you love them. you love the moments with them. you love them, their music, their art. their expression…. and NOW you all know where APARTMENT E came from. it came from “friends”.. as you have………………………….. we are all APARTMENT E….. 

cold air blows

cold air blows in warm memories. Remember that time we walked through the woods back of the house, trying to see how far we could go to be away from all the people and the distant roar of the highway, and horns. I reached for your hand to help you leap over the frozen trench, and when we landed both feet safe with a crunch of ice, you also stole a bunch of my frozen heart. I just can’t forget that first kiss, in the cold fading sunlight. In the woods that day, no one else, was on the face of the earth, and in the space of our new found love. I hope someone is warmed tonight by your fire in your eyes that I fell into as we opened them back up in a firestorm of new emotions. I wonder if you remember that walk in the woods as I do. . It haunts me, yet I welcome it. One day it may return, with another. Next time I will know where the trail should end, and never let you go. cold air blows in warm memories.

party lines

…we called them telephones back when we spoke with nervous air. muttered..daddy? are you there? told to speak to your aunt on her birthday, and give “over the line” kisses to the new baby. We held the receiver so tight not wanting to be the first to say goodnight. that once valued tool, that gave voice to love and fools. I knew 50 numbers by heart, never called anyone past 10 from the start. Ended on questionable bad notes with the dead dial tone as my final answers. Got calls from wrong numbers then asking,well who are you? , do you matter? Got a call from old man Joe from Joe’s drink and eat, says a new steel tower is going up, messing up his view to the sea, the beach,and even the street.. wondering why no one comes in anymore to chat on clean welcome seats.. little does he know.. people will forget in 30 years how to say hello!, how are you?and greet….. f.messina 1.11,15

Authentic Self

To be my authentic self, in times of high creativity, in times of solo reflection, in love, in misunderstandings of intentions, out of mind with more, in living with less, in moments when anxiety numbs normal movement, when you are understood without words, while avoiding the truth to protect others, when telling the truth will send others away, when I sit in solitude, or alone in a crowd. When authenticity is being played on a single scale, a one note metronome, this is the true path. That moment when all the world falls away, and caring for yourself gets it’s time. treasure that, for no man knows your song, your way of living. shaking the needle from it’s grooving trench plays someone else’s song. with accepted skips. Authentic self is a color that only you rejoice in. you know it when you stray from it.

the space between

“the space in between in silence, is the best defense. Listen more, hush. Let creativity work on itself sometime. Silence the trumpet, let the snare in. Allow the whisper to roar. Spirit needs room to guide. The heart nurtures us all. Believe in you.”

f.messina 1.11.23

Grace happens

Grace happens,

where peace and patience find each other in hard, troubled times. Cheers to healing old wounds, renewing positive friendships, letting the toxic ones go, and rising up on the other side of 2022 with all the exact things you need packed in near perfect precision. In hopes that foe will stay on distant shores, and friend will folly in clovers of your own. Throwing seeds of life into crevices darkened for years. This time we win, this time we know the true path home. Now, know where your center of happiness is, by looking inside and knowing that there is no one else like you that can give your gifts to the world. Finding purpose in uncovering the beauty of your every breath. Let the negative people go. You may miss them, but your hold on them are holding you back.

Lead your dreams over the hill, guide your greatest passion to it’s true space, no matter how large, and heavy it is, or how small you feel at times. You have the power to be happy,through love of yourself. You are able. It is your time. There is no time like now.

All that Is not given, is lost. Peace all. You are beautiful! Be you! Be kind, be present with your giving, your beauty, your ability to give and receive love, which builds peace for everyone, and the world.

– f.messina (new year’s eve 2023)


you ever call something “golden?” when you put that on to something, someone, some feeling, some moment, some embrace of togetherness, some passionate sneaky encounter of bliss, a moment hidden from all the others, a time where time stood still, and the only two people in the room, saw that frozen moment… ? Then held it as a sparkle of time, left only by chance, that even the princess, and owner of love and care., gave reflection to the queen, and honor to the king. of song. pure song, that got left in the crevice of dark eves and darkest nights….giving rise . then the rising gave notice to the skies that the one thing we cherished together, could only be done. as a song. and we did it. we sang it, we left a melody for those behind us, to know. we were here.

that time

that time I painted the sun and burned up all the things and people that ever mattered the most to me. someone once called me a “compassionate impass”, learning what that meant.. 10 years later.. no one knows you like you know you, others only guess in order to move forward.. or to set you free to free themselves I miss so many friends in winter the most. only few will be there at your goodbye, only you will be there at your welcome party. Loyal bright ones shimmer shines on hue and gloom.


April 24, 2016  · 

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I can name 6-7 people that made me see Orlando as a real art community when I landed here in the early 90’s..and made me want to stay to see more grow…… through the dark corners, hot warehouses, foamy crappy beer, smokey clubs,risky art shows, no good lighting ,no good sound, new bands flat out playing to no one, or getting lifted off the floor by a crushing crowd rushing the stage to a packed house. … there is a unique one missing, that was always in the corner with his sketchpad or the nearest bar napkin.. Morgan Steel acted like he didn’t give a crap about anything,only to make you work harder , but deep down cared more than anyone in the room cuz he knew we were all creating something new. Bored always with niceness, or pretentiousness, yet one of the smartest most beautiful creators I think I have ever met….or ever will….. this is not fair, and unbelievable. Wake me when 2016 has moved on to others.. we have had enough. Take care of yourselves. no one is alone tonight with this tragedy. no one, that knew the greatness that was Morgan.

fly now

we are in full swing now.! bring on the fat man in red, fill my stocking with coal, ground my sleigh, keep all the wealth you want, all I want is your truth, your passion, your love, your friendship, your unwavering independence of self, and your confidence. Your presence of mind, to keep dreaming your dream of being a better human than you were yesterday. Helping others when you can, and not bringing those around you down, to your unhealthy need for attention and praise. BE a light, in a world that insist on being left in the dark. For in the dark, there is safety in self pity. In the light, there is the truth, the raw, unfiltered, brave, whole, lonely, truth. No time like now, to let all those ties that have held you down, fall off, and you will find out, all the while, your wings were simply pinned down. Just not being used. That’s all. Oh yea, we all have them…. some use them in life. Some never open theirs. good luck in your new discovery, and your new flight! f.messina 11.30.22